Sunday, January 20, 2013

2013: Being and Doing on The Trail

I don't really like to make resolutions. I know everybody says that nowadays, but I think in my case it is a matter of getting older. After seeing the year change 56 times now and knowing that about 30 of those times I made some promises to myself that I didn't bother to keep, I just stopped doing it a few years back.

But I still do a lot of thinking about the previous year and about the year to come during December and January. This time around has been a little different. I basically burned out by the end of 2012 (which I guess is better than what the Mayans predicted, eh?).

So I am making some changes and rearranging some priorities and reassessing the journey. But I am NOT making resolutions. Ha!

Carl and I have spent weeks discussing various aspects of this process and I won't spoil the fun by outlining everything here. But I will say, I'm happy with the direction things are headed and they are headed in a direction, though journeys often are more fun if there are some unexpected turns.

Carl and I talk about being "on the trail" a lot. In some ways, this is left-over from our more extensive traveling days in the early part of this century. But it also serves to remind us that even when we "stay-put" for a while, things change. Trails are interesting because they don't always have posts or directions as you make your way. You could end up somewhere you never dreamed of going. You have to live by your wits at times. You have to trust your experiences, your senses, and your skills.

I recently watched a wonderful documentary called "Horatio's Drive" about the first transcontinental car trip in 1903. It was the ultimate "off-road" trip, taking 73 days with all sorts of break-downs and challenges. But the guy who just did it on a whim beat the "professionals" who spent months planning. I think there is a good lesson there.

So if 2013 has a theme for me, it is "Be and Do" -- another way to put it is "I trust the past to guide me into the future." Perhaps such brash confidence comes with surviving more than 55 years and staying married more than 20 years. But I also suspect it is more than that. I suspect that at some point one has to actually decide to trust.

In 2012, I decided that I would believe the evidence of my life that I was a survivor and that I had skills, talents, experiences and a brain that has proven record of perseverance. In addition to that, I am married to a man who has also proven himself to have skills, talents, experiences and a brain that has a proven record of perseverance. That meant I should let go of some fear and some worry.

Such confidence was severely tested in 2012 as we had to move suddenly, spent a great deal of the summer living on peanut butter and fought against several flare-ups in illness.

But, in the words of Morpheus, "We are still here!"

I find myself, after my resting and contemplation over the Winter Break, happy to face the new year and happy to be on the trail.